When I visited Bangalore as a 16 year old many moons ago, I found myself in a hep but sleepy city with great weather and beautiful chicks. Tired of the hustle and bustle of the stinky and hot metropolitan called Madras, I always had pleseant fantasies about life in Bangalore. It was a great place, and like they say – the grass is always greener on the other side.
Fastforward to today. Bangalore is no longer the Garden City or Pensioner’s Paradise everyone would have liked it to remain. IT/BT folks have swarmed the city from outside and kicked the localites from their slumber. Bakeries in the city now open at 7 am instead of 11 am. Imagine that!! The bloody mallus didn’t have to set such standards! But then the city has seen such a drastic change that however hard the Bangalorean tries to cross the road like in the good old days, he cannot. I pity those old time pedestrians. They’ve got the rabbit-in-the-headlights look these days when they don’t look or right before crossing. Of course, some smart folks first reach the middle of the road and then decide what to do next – continue crossing or sprint back and try again. This kind of struggle to do something as simple as crossing of a road makes my heart pour out in grief for the old Bangalorean.
And then there is the great Deve Gowda. People didn’t allow him to sleep peacefully in the Parliment when he got his fifteen seconds of glory outside of Bangalore and today his very own beloved hometown is no longer a place for a good nap. Imagine how he would be feeling deep inside. I understand he got brought his son to power so that he can continue his shut-eye at home, but then there are these bloody consiprators. They go hi-tech and release VCDs and DVDs in an attempt to befall his clan. How could they!
In my humble opinion, I think Mr K’swamy is doing a terrific job in chasing out non-Bangaloerans out of Bangalore by making Kannada cumpolsory in school. The education minister in his cabinet even went to the extent of digging out the orginal villian – Tippu Sultan! What a shame that the humble Kannadiga unknowningly put this bloody foriegn ruler on the high seat. And isn’t Mr K’swamy valliant in his attempts to stall the helmet rule? Now all those bloody outsiders who have increased the vehicle population in the city will have the face Yamaraj. Of course, how lucky we must be to have a minister agreeing for a Metro rail. Now we tax payers don’t have to worry about watching our hard earned money go down the drain, because the work is anyway going to happen underground. Also by commissioning the new airport in Devanahalli, he has made sure that every visitor spends at least 2 hours (in traffic jams) enjoying a tour of the beatiful city. You sir, are a star! He has even built bridges with people like Mr Murthy of Infy. Because of this person, today, Bangalore is to US what China is to Nike. I can’t imagine how much that must have hurt the farmers, and consequently a gentle soul Mr Deve Gowda. If only Nike outsourced it’s work to India. We wouldn’t have had so many farmers committing suicide.
Of course, many a Bangalorean would be discussing over their morning cuppa at 9 am about how the city has become so dusty because of those Bihari labourers, how the city is so full of grime because of those dark-skinned Tamilians and how the Sambar no longer tastes sweet thanks to those wretched Gultis. And not to mention the fact that they are now going to call this city Bengaluru because of those Bengalis invading the city!
So inspite of valliant attempts by the aforementioned Gowda clan and BMP (trying to match the number of manholes with the number of watering holes), Bangaloreans still can’t go back to their good old way of life. IT Czars with Middle Class values and Liquor Barons with depraved values deny Kannadigas quota. Kannada actresses refuse to work after marrriage and Kannada actors can’t find answers to the most basic of questions – yella ok, cool drink yaake? Amen!
