Since the death of TV and new exciting music in my world, I haven't quite been inspired or blown away by any other's creativity in a long time. I picked a book – Life on Planet Rock by Lonn Friend recently and this post is a result of that. After reading the book, I revisted GN'R by watching some videos (like Estranged and November Rain), but the feeling I used to get some years ago did not come over me again. My hair didn't stand on the back of my neck, and I didn't play the air guitar. Instead, I started recalling those Axl worshipping days and tried to see what I knew then, that I seem to have forgotten now. What did we see in these musicians? Why did we place them on a pulpit? Why aren't there new heroes to replace the ones who have faded, thanks to Time and the general spinning of the earth? What is the brainfeed I seek now?
If there is any one stagnant thought I can pick up from the many running in my head, it would be what I described above. Yes, the nostalgia associated with our teen years and rock n' roll is something very stagnant, and little has happened since then although we have grown in years and stacked up abundant music on our hard drives. The feeling has long gone and around us, the generations are becoming shallower and art is becoming bleaker. My radar yearns for new creativity, new brainfeed, but there are are hardly any blips (even when there are, it is surprisingly from our own Eastern music). And since music and creativity is what I have lived off, I now have a choice of gasping to survive, or submitting myself to the darkness and embracing what comes with it. In fact, I have nearly done that and discovered something new. Enter Photography.
Yes, Photography is my new brainfeed in these times superficiality. I once had my hands in my pockets and whistled tunes carelessly while the winds blew my hair. I could do that because my pockets were empty and I could feel the winds. These days I drag myself to work to put some wind into my sails and money into my pockets. All that money I offer at the altar of Photography where I pray for salvation and an all-access badge to the kingdom of creativity. But the so called 'hard work' is not without expectations so there are strings attached. The very same brain that was once freely injected with the rush of Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and the like, is now most of the time running full throttle calculating for that telezoom or macro lens or attending stupid meetings to stay on the job. So there is no time to indulge in gay abandon or lesbian voyerurism (;)). Instead, when the calendar presents a holiday or the evening comes with a breath of fresh out-of-office air, I try and go out to shoot. I do it because that is all I can do. For everything else, I depend on friends. I hope to get by with a little help from friends. But too bad I belong to the Lonely Hearts Club Band. And so life has managed to fuck with me again. But hey, there is always some nostalgia and rock n' roll to fill in.
So this is how it is. That was how it was. How will it be? Where do we go from here? Let's just wait n' see….