Came to my inbox via Satty:

Our Expectations A turtle family went on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outings. Finally the Turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found it. For about six months they cleaned up the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left. Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years, Six years… Then in the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and began to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "SEE I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt."

Lesson Learned: Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.

I think it has come at the right time. I needed this. 

Since when I can remember, I have rebelled against being moulded by my surrounding. And for this reason, I never learnt to speak colloquial Tamil although I grew up in Chennai, I never stayed for long in the hostel when in college and I didn't become a software engineer after graduation. People at home always had a problem with what I chose to do or be, not because they understood my thought process, but because I didn't confirm with their notions of 'being normal'.

Of course, now I understand that everything evens out when your life is all about making and saving  money. Your hobbies, interests, pastimes and everything that YOU ever did is spoken of in past tense. And it is this past tense that is links you back to what you are. Because from the confines of like minded friends and smoke filled bachelor rooms, you are thrown into a world of managers, deadlines, responsbilities and everything that they can make you do while holding your job for ransom. That is the first do-or-die situation you encounter. And it is the first agent of change. 

But this phase of confusion for most slowly dies down. Because some day you are gonna have people under you. Some day you'll have people snarl at you, talk behind your back and curse you for making their life miserable. Some day you gonna hang your gloves, get married, have kids and all that. And by this time, the memories that link back to what you are no longer make sense. Because you are not what you were anymore. Suddenly, the 'you' has changed. Or in other words, life has changed you. 

Life has inevitably changed a lot since the days of college, and for that matter the first few months of work. For a long time, my ideas, fantasies, castles et al where intertwined with my age. But it is not so today. Many of the things I do now, because of where I have reached in the process of change, don't make sense. And when your actions seem redundant, and don't make sense anymore, you gotta move on. Moving on is something I have been very good at. 

But suddenly moving on doesn't sound easy. And this is because the castles I have built have their pillars on the ground. So it is not easy to move to new ground. Hell, it is not even easy to find new ground anymore.

Then there is the variable called 'growth'. As long as you are a student, growth happens pretty much by itself. Whether it is academics or otherwise, you are constantly learning and hence growing. But after graduation, growth suddenly stops being something that comes naturally to you. Growth becomes a matter of survival. You are forced to show growth. You are forced to prove it. Else there is someone else ready to replace you. But growth is good right? Yes, it is. As long as you are growing at your own pace, and in the direction you choose. How many can claim to have this built into their jobs? This is the second do-or-die situation that you encounter. The second agent of change. 

Right now what's happening to me is the exact opposite. Can't say that I lack oppurtunities to grow. But the means to the end everywhere else but here suddenly seems shallow. And the more I hold on to what I think makes more sense than being a number in some manager's excel sheet, the more I realise that this is not what I want. This is not what I want because I have always been averse to mediocrity. And mediocrity is what I am surrounded with. Yes, as long as you had the choice of chosing friends and as long as you had the luxury of getting away with being selective, you didn't mind the world. What happens when you no longer have this choice? This becomes the third agent of change. But I don't know what will this bring. 

My initial apprehensions about joining YHAI in Dalhousie kinda grew thanks to an overly idle mind and I frantically started looking for alternatives yesterday. Most websites offer customized trips, and that does not make sense when not travelling as a large group. We are only 2 as of now, so we have no other option but to join YHAI. I started asking around, mostly in Orkut, and I actually found more info there than anywhere else. Something I least expected, considering my natural dislike towards that site. I even found another guy who’s on the same trip, and interestingly on the same dates as mine. He’s been to the Saurkundi trip and his gallery’s got some interesting snaps. Something similar I am hoping to achieve on the Dalhousie trek. All photo galleries I’ve managed to google regarding this YHAI Dalhousie trip have been pathetic, to say the least, and that’s partly the reason for my apprehensions. Maybe I need to relax a bit The hunt for more info on how to make the trip better is on nevertheless.

There is another hunt happening parallely. It’s for my new camera. It feels like starting from scratch. I actually got to hold the 400D today, and I have to say that the new 2.5″ LCD is very nice and probably addictive. A real Chimper’s delight! I also got to handle the D80 today. It sure does make the 400D look like a toy. In fact, if you visit the D80 forums on DPreview, you’ll hardly find any imbecile posters, unlike the Canon forums. No fanboyism, no deep-rooted insecurity manifesting itself as ‘Canon is better than Nikon/I am jumping ship and moving to Nikon’ posts. The Nikon forum almost looks boring!! The reaons obviously lies in the fact that the D80 is a more mature camera, or at least that’s how it projects itself. The Canon 400D is the most likely choice for P&S upgraders, so you can understand why the average post on the Canon forum is more froth than beer. Or at least that’s my theory.

Anyway, I found the D80 to be a very good camera. Handling was superb, and the viewfinder was awesomely bright and clear. I am tempted to jump ship myself (no, I won’t go post this in the Canon forum :)), but at 66,000 bucks, the camera is waaaay beyond my budget. I can only afford a 45k Digital Rebel XTi But look at the bright side. This lower priced camera offers the best of features and Image Quality (IQ)!

The next few months is going to be hectic with lot of hunting, planning and researching. And oh, I bought a second hand Monopod today (Bogen / Manfrotto 680B (3249B))

PS: The chick Storm Large on Rockstar Supernova is HOT!!

I got the green signal from my boss yesterday so booked tickets for the Youth Hostels Association of India trek scheduled for December. The trek starts on the 24th, and will go on for 6 days. After mucho rearch, I concluded that it is best to avoid budget airlines that can't maintain a decent website. I am specifically mentioning GoAir. GoIndigo is good, and so is the trusty Spicejet. Booked my to ticket on Spicejet and return on GoIndigo. Spicejet fare was actually the least, a ticket to Delhi costing just 2k (but departure at some ungodly hour of 2 am). And anyone knows why GoAir calls itself a budget airlines? Their website (which didn't work well on Mozilla) showed tickets from Bangalore to Delhi at 10k. Even AirIndia is cheaper. What's up with that?

I have a couple of misgivings about the trip. I prefer small groups of people, so I wonder if 50 in a batch would make it fun. This number may also hamper my photographic oppurtunities. But who knows, maybe more the merrier. Also, I have to carefully plan on what camera gear to take. Suddenly the prospects of buying a wide angle sounds better than going for a zoom. But let me buy a camera first :p

I need to now research on:

1) Clothing - Thermal wear - where to buy (in Bangalore)? Brand? What other warm clothes?

2) Shoes - I have never seen snow, so I'd like to know which shoes/boots would be best for trekking on normal terrain and snow. Again, brand and where to buy (pref in Bangalore). I would be stopping over at Delhi, so purchasing this in Delhi also would be an option. 

Feeling very excited :D 

I did something very impulsive. I sold my camera to my cousin for 35k. Although impulsive, I think there's sensible reasoning behind this move.

Advantage to buyer:

• Buying from a trusted source
• Buying at grey market price, but with a year's warranty (I bought mine with a 2 year warranty)

Advantage to me:

• Sold at a good price. Once Canon's new camera, the Rebel XTi hits the market, prices of the younger Rebel will hit the ground. Anyway, my cousin was in a hurry and didn't want to wait for the XTi
• I get worthy upgrades when I go for the XTi - dust cleaning feature, faster focus and better accuracy with faster lenses. All things that make sense to me, but not a novice.

Now I have to see where and how to get the new camera The hunt never ends….

Just when I thought all is well with my computer, I realize that it doesn't want me to install Windows XP. Yes, I have the mother of all strange problems right now. Everytime I try to install XP, things go fine till the EULA page and/or the option of chosing the install partition; then computer shuts itself down. Everytime! I tried each hard disk one at a time, I tried using my old CD writer. Nothing helps. Otherwise, my comp is just fine.

I was very frustrated this morning. I got a bit of solace on the MSI forums because exactly two other guys seem to have faced the same problem in the past (with other MSI boards). Sadly, they haven't posted their solution, or if they ever found one.  I posted my woes on two forums, but no luck with a working solution so far. I have a strong feeling it is the motherboard that's giving me problems, because that is the only new component. Earlier I had no such problems and I have done clean installs a dozen times. The thought of going back to the same old sloth of a computer dealer pisses me off.

Something tells me there is a voodo doll of my computer somewhere, pins and all. Whoever it is, please don't torture me so much On another note, I can start a blog dedicated to troubleshooting computers. 

Got my computer after a month. I was just about getting comfortable without it, working towards sticking to a timetable of exercise and extra curricular activites like reading novels. Now that it is back, have a huge backlog of things to do. Also, I realised the true value of my new lens when I saw it on my monitor. All this while I was only able to see it on my office PC. Now I know how truly sharp it is!

Recently I stumbled up on the official website of Youth Hostels of India. There's an interesting trip being organized in December. Hoping to be able to make it.