Ah…been a while since I wrote stuff here…..gonna get away by posting an IM convo:
Me is me
Married Woman is my collegue, mother of a 7 yr old.
Me says:
i think its time I found a GF
Me says:
I used be very optimistic
Me says:
but now I see the world as a very stupid place
Married Woman says:
how come a sudden change?
Me says:
well, it starts when I leave home….the traffic and stuff…..terrible….
Me says:
maybe its my fault
Me says:
I always used to think optimistically and give scope for people who are not all that bright/smart
Me says:
but everyday my intellegince is insulted….so I have no sympathy now
Married Woman says:
r u talking abt any one in particular?
Me says:
no, in general
Me says:
ok, maybe i am confusing u
Me says:
let me explain
Me says:
this weekend i met my cousin who has been in th US for the past 10+ yrs…..we were talking abt education and how one comes up in life based on his interpersonal skills etc….
Me says:
and we were also generally discussing abt the state of the world…
Me says:
he was telling me abt how Americans are not all that great and America is a very ordinary place, unlike how we think of it….i mean, all that superpower agenda is crap….
Me says:
but what I understood is that when u live in a place like America, u dont have to start ur day negotiating traffic, dealing with incompetent people, and breathing polluted air…there is a system in place…
Me says:
all this in turn directly affects ur productivity for the rest of the day…
Me says:
r u getting me?
Married Woman says:
but how is this related to ur GF or someone insulting ur intelligence?
Me says:
oh yeah….that is another part of the story…
Me says:
I was basically thinking abt why some ppl prefer to leave India and live abroad…..knowing well that they r going to be away from family and frnds…
Me says:
and then I realised that for a man, his life is in stages…
Me says:
when he is around 18-20…he is exploring life…..he experiments a lot and is basically very adventurous….
Me says:
tell me if i am boring u…
Married Woman says:
no.. continue
Me says:
ok, so 20-25 is when he is ambitious….he has a lot of enthu and he is ready to go out and conquer the world….
Me says:
after 25-30…he enjoys the fruits of his labour….if he is successful, he enjoys life….
Me says:
during this age, he also decides to get married
Me says:
(u may think 30 is too old for marriage, but many successful ppl i know have married at a very late age)
Me says:
r u with me?
Married Woman says:
yeah
Me says:
making sense?
Married Woman says:
yes.. it is
Me says:
ok….so after 30…its marriage, kids, looking after them and all….he becomes a householder….responsible…doesnt take too many risks etc…
Me says:
so basically, when u r 20-25…..u r adventurous and full of enthu……..and this is the age when many guys go abroad for higher studies and all…
Me says:
i dont think anyone leaves for higher education after 25…
Married Woman says:
it depends… but what u r telling make sense.. i’m not getting where ur GF fits in this
Me says:
will come to that…
Me says:
so, basically a man, who is between that age…is ambitious and thinking ahead…thinking big….he is ready to take on the world…..and if he is doing all that, HE IS NOT THINKING OF HAVING A GF…….I mean, its difficult to handle both…if a guy can…HATS OFF TO HIM!
Me says:
if u see half the guys who have GFs out there…..they r not doing most of what I described here….
Me says:
there is a good chance that they r enjoying their dad’s money and having fun without thinking too much abt life….
Me says:
agree?
Married Woman says:
yes
Me says:
so it all comes down to what u r doing when u r in that age….if u r thinking big and taking risks…then u will be going places in life….if u r not thinking big….and U DONT have a gf…U R GOING TO END UP VERY FRUSTRATED…..
Me says:
see the connection?
Married Woman says:
(LOL smiley)
Me says:
(LOL smiley)
Married Woman says:
i had never thgt of such things.. i hardly can control my laugh
Me says:
well…i didnt either…until i met my cousin…and before that an old frnd from college
Me says:
they r perfect examples of both extremes
Me says:
my cousin was slogging and working hard when he was 20…he is an IITian
Me says:
my frnd is having the time of his life….he has had more than 5 GFs….
Me says:
and the best part - BOTH R HAPPY WITH LIFE…..
Me says:
so i was wondering how it is possible….becoz when i grew up, my parents considered stuides to be the only route to happiness
Me says:
Married Woman says:
well.. ur friend’s happiness is for short… he will be enjoying life as long as he has GFs but when he faces the actual life.. he will know what it is and what he has missed in life… a GF is not the only way to enjoy life
Me says:
how can u say that…….have u had BFs?
Married Woman says:
never..
Me says:
well….let me tell u where “insult to intelligence” comes into the pic…
Me says:
i have met many guys who have had GFs….some of them have been good frnds of mine….and still are….they are all smart ppl..its the smart ones who find it frustrating to live in a world as stupid as this…
Me says:
Also, I have met their GFs…..
Me says:
and I realised that the main reason these guys have GFs is because they have want to take out the frustration of having to live in this theater of stupidity….they want to have fun and forget the reality that they face…the same reality a person leaving to the US wants to escape from…
Me says:
eventually, every guy has to settle down with a girl….and these guys are doing it early because they r skipping out on the “use ur enthu years for other purposes”…….they r using their enthu years to have fun with their resp girls…..
Me says:
and as far as I know….i havent met any couple who have enthusiasm in their lives after having 1 kid….the enthusiasm just dies out….its not there…they r just living together for the kid…..
Married Woman says:
dont assume things… happiness is not what u see… it is deep inside… u have to know lot of things in life….
Me says:
psl explain then
Me says:
also, pls explain what i have assumed
Married Woman says:
oops… i fear i cant do it now.. maybe tomo
Me says:
k
This is how the convo went. I am waiting to see what happens when it is continued tomorrow. I don’t think I have assumed anything. But maybe I didn’t make my point clear. I’m not for promiscious behaviour and the playboy types. That’s not what I meant by ‘having fun with 5 GFs’. Maybe she misunderstood me. But if someone is really living life that way, good for them. I am not pining for that anyway.
I really don’t like the part where I have to compromise because of another person’s stupidity. And the best example of this is our roads here. People can’t ride/drive properly. I end up spending more time than needed on the road. My productivity goes down. I am too tired EOD to do anything. The Government doesn’t want to do anything about state of affairs. I want to live life without being dragged down by another man’s incompetence. I want to spend my time productively….i want to use my youth in doing enterprising things. Else, I’d be better off having fun with a girl. I know I can’t handle both simultaneously, unless by some miracle I met the ‘right one’. I tend to focus on only one thing at a time. And frankly, I haven’t met the ‘right one’ yet.
Anyways, I’d really like to know if there is anything I have unreasonably assumed. I am willing to change my way of thought, if I am shown a better angle to this. Maybe tomo I’ll post the rest of the convo. Else, I’ll have to dismiss what Married Woman says as something that came from ‘just another brick in the wall’.
[Listening to: Karma - Opeth ]
