There are a lot of things that I wish I could say here in my blog, but I don’t. This means that
a) My blog is not an accurate representation of what I am.
b) There are reasons as to why I don’t let all my thoughts take the shape of words.
As I embark each day to discover new blogs and find them, somewhere in the back of my mind I evaluate the frankness, openess, sincerity, depth etc. in the posts. Many bloggers, as I have said before, are pretty smart people. Unlike the T.V watching, soap discussing crowd, bloggers (and many people who spend lot of time online) are on a different plane of existence. Since much has aleady been said about why a T.V is an idiot box (it doesnt have a pentium inside for sure), I wish not to stress my point by adding anything more. But does an idiot box breed idiots? Now, that is something to ponder about. Anyways, the point is, most blogs that I come across pretty much follow a pattern. This pattern gives them a certain character. Which is good. Makes life easy.
It won’t take you any more than 3 secs, or the IQ of Einstien to figure out that I am a very erratic person in many ways. Actually, erratic wouldn’t be the right word. Inconsistent would be a better way to put it. Inconsistency shows in my hand writing, shows in my blog and shows in my everday life.
Why am I inconsistent?
There is no one answer to that question. It is congenital, to say the least. Its also due to a certain inner restlessness. Its something that may sound wierd and I can’t do justice by trying and explaining things to a general audience. But if you were to understand this inconsistency in a negative way, then I would be guilty of having mislead you.
All I am saying is that after having seen other blogs and how even they can get, I have to admit that mine is not the same. There are some drawbacks to this. For instance, I may not be able to use my blog to impress a girl – I can’t expect her to make anything of what I am by reading it. Its all very incomplete.
On the other hand, if there is anyone out there who can actually make something out of these posts, then I would be able to understand a steadily ticking counter. As of now, the counter is slow. Yes, I do check the counter on a daily basis to see how many new people have wandered to this little corner of the internet.
Having said all this, I would also have to say that I dont come from a place where blogging is something to go by. Sure, having a journal is good for mental health and all, but then, a blog isnt a journal right? Or let me put it in another way – A blog with a counter is surely not a ‘dear diary’ sort of journal. A ‘dear diary’ sort of journal is something that carries the burden of daily secrets and tearful sorrows and all that shit you want to get out of your system (of course, along with the happy stuff). I wonder if any of my friends really bother to visit my blog regulary (or any blog for that matter). They are either too caught up with something else, or this concept itself isnt exciting to them. I would have probably taken a similar stance if I hadn’t seen the internet as a beckon of hope (as a bored individual) in a certain place, in a certain time. That certain place and time is when the affair with all things ‘online’ began.
And whad’ya know, the internet is indeed more than just a respite. There is email, there is blogging, there are forums, there is chatting, there is ORKUT (!!)….there are a whole lotta ways to get those daily kicks. And to me, the internet offers a certain intellectual simulation that I would personally, preferrably like to find elsewhere (but I dont). So all in all, I am just another IP address playing along.
[ Listening to: The darn printer ]